YENA’S THOUGHTS

My dearest Marna,

Do you remember the first time I said I loved you? I cried. We both cried, and, for that brief moment, time stood still. We held each other. I felt your love, strength and desire.

I want to be with you, please know that. I want to gaze at the stars with you. I want to watch the sunrise while lying in your arms once more…but I can’t. I truly can’t.

I know you have secrets, and that destroys me. I have told you everything; given you everything. My mind. My sadistic mind is not well. It shows me images of awful, terrible things. Waking dreams that I believe are memories or warnings of things to come. I can’t tell anymore. When you leave for that place you say I cannot go I cry, scream and hurt. I hurt myself, but my mind cares not. It tortures me until my skin is torn and every last tear is shed.

You are so special. The horrors you saw tonight will come to pass, one way or another. You will try to protect me, and I’m terrified you will die doing just that.

I am a burden, Marna. I am your burden.

I can’t lose you, and I don’t have the strength to live without you. So, my darling, I now offer myself into Cirryn’s care. Please forgive me, and always remember this…my soul waits for you and only you.

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